Offering condolences is a delicate and important part of human interaction, particularly during times of loss and grief. While “condolences” is a perfectly acceptable expression, relying solely on it can sometimes feel repetitive or inadequate.
Expanding your vocabulary to include alternative phrases allows you to express your sympathy with greater nuance and sincerity. This article explores a variety of ways to convey your sorrow and support, providing you with the tools to communicate effectively and compassionately in difficult situations.
Understanding these alternatives is crucial for anyone seeking to offer comfort and support in a heartfelt and meaningful way. This knowledge is beneficial for native English speakers and learners alike, enhancing their ability to navigate sensitive conversations with grace and empathy.
This comprehensive guide will delve into various expressions, their nuances, and appropriate contexts. We will explore formal and informal options, as well as phrases that focus on support, remembrance, and understanding.
By mastering these alternatives, you can offer condolences that are both genuine and tailored to the specific situation, ensuring that your message of sympathy is received with the warmth and compassion it intends to convey.
Table of Contents
- Introduction
- Definition of Condolences
- Structural Breakdown of Sympathy Expressions
- Types and Categories of Condolence Expressions
- Examples of Condolence Expressions
- Usage Rules for Offering Condolences
- Common Mistakes to Avoid
- Practice Exercises
- Advanced Topics in Expressing Sympathy
- Frequently Asked Questions
- Conclusion
Definition of Condolences
Condolences are expressions of sympathy and sorrow, typically offered to someone who has experienced the death of a loved one. The term originates from the Latin word “condolere,” meaning “to suffer together.” Condolences serve to acknowledge the loss, provide comfort to the bereaved, and offer support during a difficult time. They are a fundamental aspect of social etiquette and play a crucial role in helping individuals cope with grief.
The function of offering condolences extends beyond simply acknowledging the death. It involves expressing empathy, validating the mourner’s feelings, and offering practical or emotional support.
Effective condolences are sincere, respectful, and tailored to the individual and the specific circumstances of the loss. They provide a sense of connection and solidarity, reminding the bereaved that they are not alone in their grief.
The context in which condolences are offered can vary widely. They may be expressed in person, through written notes, over the phone, or via electronic communication.
The formality of the expression should align with the relationship between the speaker and the bereaved, as well as the cultural norms of the community. Understanding the nuances of offering condolences is essential for providing genuine comfort and support during times of loss.
Structural Breakdown of Sympathy Expressions
Sympathy expressions, while varied in wording, often follow a basic structural pattern. Understanding this pattern can help you create your own heartfelt messages of condolence.
The core components typically include:
- Acknowledgment of the Loss: This involves directly mentioning the loss or the deceased. For example: “I was so sorry to hear about the passing of…” or “I learned of your loss and wanted to reach out.”
- Expression of Sympathy: This is where you convey your feelings of sorrow and empathy. Examples include: “My heart goes out to you,” “I am deeply saddened by your loss,” or “Please accept my sincerest condolences.”
- Offer of Support: This demonstrates your willingness to help the bereaved during their time of need. Phrases like “I’m here for you if you need anything,” “Please don’t hesitate to reach out,” or “Let me know if there’s anything I can do” are common.
- Sharing a Positive Memory (Optional): If appropriate, sharing a fond memory of the deceased can provide comfort and celebrate their life. For example: “I will always remember [deceased’s name] for their…” or “One of my favorite memories of [deceased’s name] is…”
- Concluding Remarks: This offers a final expression of sympathy and support. Examples include: “Thinking of you during this difficult time,” “Sending you strength and peace,” or “With heartfelt sympathy.”
By understanding these structural elements, you can craft personalized and meaningful expressions of sympathy that offer genuine comfort and support to those who are grieving. Remember to tailor your message to the specific situation and your relationship with the bereaved.
Types and Categories of Condolence Expressions
Condolence expressions can be categorized based on their level of formality, focus, and intent. Understanding these categories will help you choose the most appropriate phrase for the specific situation and your relationship with the bereaved.
Formal Expressions
Formal expressions are typically used in professional settings, when addressing someone you don’t know well, or when adhering to traditional etiquette. These expressions are often more reserved and focus on acknowledging the loss with respect and dignity.
Informal Expressions
Informal expressions are suitable for close friends, family members, and colleagues with whom you have a comfortable relationship. These expressions are often more personal and heartfelt, allowing you to convey your sympathy in a more direct and emotional way.
Expressions of Support
These expressions focus on offering practical or emotional assistance to the bereaved. They emphasize your willingness to help and provide comfort during a difficult time.
These are crucial for showing active care and concern.
Expressions of Remembrance
These expressions center on celebrating the life of the deceased and sharing positive memories. They aim to honor their legacy and provide comfort by focusing on the positive aspects of their life.
Expressions of Understanding
These expressions acknowledge the pain and grief the bereaved is experiencing and offer empathy and understanding. They validate their feelings and provide a sense of connection and solidarity.
Religious Expressions
Religious expressions incorporate faith-based language and beliefs to offer comfort and hope. They may include prayers, blessings, or references to religious texts that provide solace during times of loss.
The appropriateness of these expressions depends heavily on the bereaved’s religious beliefs.
Examples of Condolence Expressions
The following examples illustrate the different types and categories of condolence expressions. Each table provides a variety of phrases, allowing you to choose the most appropriate one for the specific situation.
Formal Examples
Formal expressions are generally used in professional or more distant relationships. They maintain a respectful and dignified tone.
The following table provides examples of formal condolence expressions.
| Formal Condolence Expressions |
|---|
| Please accept my deepest condolences on the loss of your [relationship to deceased]. |
| I was deeply saddened to learn of the passing of [deceased’s name]. My thoughts are with you during this difficult time. |
| On behalf of [company/organization name], I extend our heartfelt sympathy to you and your family. |
| I am writing to express my sincere condolences for your loss. |
| Please accept my sincerest sympathy during this time of bereavement. |
| My thoughts are with you and your family as you navigate this challenging period. |
| I wish to convey my deepest sympathy for your profound loss. |
| We were deeply sorry to hear about the passing of [deceased’s name]. |
| Our organization extends its condolences to you and your family. |
| I am truly sorry for your loss and offer my support in any way I can. |
| May you find strength and solace in the support of family and friends. |
| Please accept our heartfelt condolences during this time of sorrow. |
| We are thinking of you and your family and sending our deepest sympathy. |
| It was with great sadness that I learned of the passing of [deceased’s name]. |
| I hope you find comfort in the memories you shared with [deceased’s name]. |
| Our deepest sympathy goes out to you and your family during this difficult time. |
| Please accept our most sincere condolences for the loss of your loved one. |
| We are deeply saddened by the news of your loss and extend our heartfelt sympathy. |
| May the love of family and friends comfort you during these difficult days, please accept my condolences. |
| I am truly sorry to hear of your loss, and I am sending my deepest sympathies. |
| My heartfelt condolences to you and your family during this time of grief. |
| I wish you peace, comfort, and courage to face the days ahead. My condolences. |
| Please accept these condolences as a token of my deepest sympathy for your loss. |
| I am deeply sorry to hear of your loss and offer my unwavering support. |
| During this challenging time, please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. |
Informal Examples
Informal expressions are appropriate for close friends, family, and those with whom you share a more personal connection. They often convey warmth and genuine emotion.
The following table provides examples of informal condolence expressions.
| Informal Condolence Expressions |
|---|
| I’m so sorry for your loss. |
| My heart breaks for you. |
| Thinking of you and sending lots of love. |
| I can’t imagine what you’re going through. I’m here for you. |
| So sorry to hear about [deceased’s name]. |
| Sending you all my love and support. |
| I’m so sorry for your pain. |
| Just wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you. |
| If you need anything at all, please don’t hesitate to ask. |
| I’m here if you need a shoulder to cry on. |
| I’m so saddened by this news. My thoughts are with you. |
| Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. |
| I’m sending you strength and peace during this difficult time. |
| Words can’t express how sorry I am. |
| I’m just a phone call away if you need anything. |
| Thinking of you and your family. |
| I’m so sorry for your incredible loss. |
| Sending you hugs and strength. |
| I’m devastated to hear about [deceased’s name]. |
| I’m so sorry – please take care of yourself. |
| I’m so heartbroken for you. |
| My deepest sympathy, friend. |
| Thinking of you constantly. |
| So sorry for the pain you’re going through. |
| I’m always here to listen if you need to talk. |
Support-Focused Examples
These expressions directly offer assistance and emphasize your willingness to help the bereaved in any way possible. They provide a sense of practical support during a challenging time.
The following table provides examples of support-focused condolence expressions.
| Support-Focused Condolence Expressions |
|---|
| Is there anything I can do to help with arrangements? |
| Please let me know if you need help with meals, errands, or anything else. |
| I’m here to support you however you need. Just say the word. |
| Don’t hesitate to reach out if you need anything at all, day or night. |
| I’m happy to help with childcare, pet care, or anything else that would ease your burden. |
| Let me know if you need someone to talk to, or just someone to sit with in silence. |
| I’m available to help with any practical tasks you may need assistance with. |
| Please don’t hesitate to lean on me during this difficult time. |
| I’m here to offer any support you need, both now and in the future. |
| If you need a break, I’m happy to take over any responsibilities you have. |
| I can help manage calls and messages if you need some space. |
| I’m available to run errands or handle tasks you’re not up to doing. |
| I’m here to listen, offer advice, or simply be a comforting presence. |
| Let me know if I can assist with any paperwork or administrative tasks. |
| I’m happy to organize meals or coordinate support from other friends and family. |
| Please don’t feel like you have to go through this alone. I’m here for you. |
| I’m willing to help with any arrangements, big or small. |
| If you need someone to stay with you, I’m available. |
| I’m here to offer practical and emotional support in any way I can. |
| Please consider me a resource for anything you need during this time. |
| I am here to help shoulder some of the burden during this time. |
| Let me know what I can do to make things even a little easier for you. |
| I’m ready to help in any way that would be most meaningful to you. |
| Please don’t hesitate to ask for anything. I’m here to serve. |
| I am here to provide a helping hand and a listening ear. |
Remembrance-Oriented Examples
These expressions focus on celebrating the life of the deceased and sharing positive memories. They aim to honor their legacy and provide comfort by focusing on the positive aspects of their life.
The following table provides examples of remembrance-oriented condolence expressions.
| Remembrance-Oriented Condolence Expressions |
|---|
| I will always remember [deceased’s name] for their [positive quality/trait]. |
| One of my favorite memories of [deceased’s name] is when [specific memory]. |
| [Deceased’s name] was such a [positive adjective] person. They will be deeply missed. |
| Their [positive quality/trait] always inspired me. I’m so grateful to have known them. |
| I’ll never forget [deceased’s name]’s [positive quality/trait]. They made such a difference in my life. |
| [Deceased’s name]’s legacy will live on through the many lives they touched. |
| I’m so grateful for the time I had with [deceased’s name]. They were a truly special person. |
| Their smile could light up a room. I’ll always remember their [positive quality/trait]. |
| [Deceased’s name] was a wonderful [relationship to deceased]. They will be deeply missed by all who knew them. |
| I feel so lucky to have known [deceased’s name]. They were a true [positive adjective]. |
| I will cherish the memories I have of [deceased’s name] forever. |
| [Deceased’s name] always had a way of making people feel [positive emotion]. |
| Their kindness and generosity will never be forgotten. |
| I will always remember [deceased’s name]’s [specific positive trait or action]. |
| They left a lasting impact on everyone they met. |
| [Deceased’s name] was a true inspiration to me and so many others. |
| I will always be grateful for the [positive experience] I shared with [deceased’s name]. |
| Their memory will live on in our hearts forever. |
| [Deceased’s name]’s spirit will continue to shine brightly. |
| We will always remember them with love and fondness. |
| [Deceased’s name] made the world a better place. |
| I will never forget their [unique characteristic or quality]. |
| [Deceased’s name]’s warmth and compassion touched so many lives. |
| We are all better for having known [deceased’s name]. |
| Their memory will be a blessing. |
Understanding-Based Examples
These expressions acknowledge the pain and grief the bereaved is experiencing and offer empathy and understanding. They validate their feelings and provide a sense of connection and solidarity.
The following table provides examples of understanding-based condolence expressions.
| Understanding-Based Condolence Expressions |
|---|
| I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you. |
| I know there are no words that can truly ease your pain, but I’m here for you. |
| I understand that grief is a process, and I’m here to support you through it. |
| I can’t pretend to know exactly what you’re feeling, but I’m sending you my love and support. |
| Please know that it’s okay to grieve in your own way. |
| I’m here to listen without judgment and offer a safe space for you to express your emotions. |
| I understand that this is a long and difficult journey, and I’m here to walk alongside you. |
| Please don’t feel like you have to be strong. It’s okay to be vulnerable and to ask for help. |
| I recognize the depth of your loss, and I’m sending you my deepest sympathy. |
| I understand that healing takes time, and I’m here to support you every step of the way. |
| I know that words can’t take away the pain, but I hope you find comfort in knowing you’re not alone. |
| I understand that this is a profound loss, and I’m here to offer my unwavering support. |
| Please know that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed and to take things one day at a time. |
| I’m here to offer a listening ear and a compassionate heart during this difficult time. |
| I understand that grief can be unpredictable, and I’m here to support you through the ups and downs. |
| Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you need anything at all, no matter how small. |
| I understand that this is a challenging time, and I’m here to offer my support without expectation. |
| Please know that your feelings are valid, and I’m here to validate them. |
| I understand that this loss is immeasurable, and I’m sending you my deepest condolences. |
| Please remember that you are loved and supported, and I’m here to remind you of that whenever you need it. |
| I understand that there is no easy way through this, but I am here for you. |
| I know your heart is broken, and I am holding space for your pain. |
| Please know that your grief is valid and deserves to be honored. |
| I understand that this is a deeply personal journey, and I’m here to support you on your terms. |
| I am here to offer comfort, understanding, and unwavering support during this time. |
Religious Examples
These expressions incorporate faith-based language and beliefs to offer comfort and hope. They may include prayers, blessings, or references to religious texts that provide solace during times of loss.
Use these only if you know the bereaved’s religious beliefs.
The following table provides examples of religious-based condolence expressions.
| Religious Condolence Expressions |
|---|
| May God comfort you during this difficult time. |
| My prayers are with you and your family. |
| May [deceased’s name] rest in peace. |
| May God grant you strength and peace. |
| Sending you prayers for comfort and healing. |
| May the love of God surround you during this time of sorrow. |
| May God’s grace be upon you and your family. |
| We are praying for you and your loved ones. |
| May you find solace in your faith. |
| May God’s love and peace fill your heart. |
| May their soul rest in eternal peace. |
| May God give you the strength to endure this loss. |
| We are lifting you up in prayer. |
| May God’s presence be felt during this time of grief. |
| May you find comfort in God’s promise of eternal life. |
| Sending you our deepest sympathy and prayers. |
| May God’s love guide you through this difficult journey. |
| We are praying for your healing and comfort. |
| May God bless you and your family. |
| May their memory be a blessing. |
| May God’s peace, which surpasses all understanding, guard your hearts and minds. |
| May the Lord be your refuge and strength during this time. |
| We are holding you close in our prayers, trusting in God’s love and mercy. |
| May you find comfort in the promise of resurrection and eternal life. |
| May God grant you the serenity to accept the things you cannot change, courage to change the things you can, and wisdom to know the difference. |
Usage Rules for Offering Condolences
Offering condolences requires sensitivity and awareness of social norms. Here are some important usage rules to keep in mind:
- Be Sincere: Your condolences should come from the heart. Avoid offering empty platitudes or insincere expressions of sympathy.
- Be Respectful: Maintain a respectful tone and demeanor. Avoid making light of the situation or offering unsolicited advice.
- Be Mindful of Cultural Differences: Different cultures have different customs and traditions regarding mourning and expressing sympathy. Be aware of these differences and adjust your approach accordingly.
- Be Timely: Offer your condolences as soon as possible after learning of the loss. Delaying your expression of sympathy may be perceived as uncaring.
- Be Brief: Keep your message concise and to the point. Avoid rambling or dominating the conversation.
- Be Supportive: Focus on offering support and comfort to the bereaved. Avoid dwelling on the details of the death or asking insensitive questions.
- Be Present: If offering condolences in person, be fully present and attentive. Make eye contact, listen actively, and offer a comforting touch if appropriate.
- Avoid Clichés: While some common phrases are acceptable, try to personalize your message to make it more meaningful.
- Respect Boundaries: Be mindful of the bereaved’s boundaries and avoid pushing them to share more than they are comfortable with.
- Follow Up: Continue to offer support and assistance in the days and weeks following the loss. A simple phone call, text message, or visit can make a big difference.
Common Mistakes to Avoid
Even with good intentions, it’s easy to make mistakes when offering condolences. Here are some common pitfalls to avoid:
| Incorrect | Correct | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| “I know how you feel.” | “I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you.” | Avoid assuming you know exactly what someone else is feeling. |
| “At least they’re in a better place.” | “May they rest in peace.” | Avoid making assumptions about the afterlife or offering religious platitudes that may not align with the bereaved’s beliefs. |
| “You’ll get over it.” | “Grief takes time. I’m here for you.” | Avoid minimizing the bereaved’s pain or suggesting that they should move on quickly. |
| “Tell me all about it.” | “I’m here to listen if you want to talk.” | Avoid pressuring the bereaved to share details about the death if they are not ready. |
| Offering unsolicited advice or solutions. | Offering support and a listening ear. | Focus on providing comfort and support, rather than trying to fix the situation. |
| Talking more than listening. | Listening actively and empathetically. | Prioritize listening to the bereaved’s feelings and experiences. |
| Saying nothing at all. | Offering a simple expression of sympathy and support. | Even a brief message of condolence is better than silence. |
| Focusing on your own experiences or feelings. | Focusing on the bereaved and their loss. | Keep the focus on the person who is grieving. |
| Making comparisons to other losses. | Acknowledging the uniqueness of their grief. | Every loss is different, and comparisons can be insensitive. |
| Offering false reassurances. | Offering genuine support and empathy. | Avoid making empty promises or offering unrealistic reassurances. |
Practice Exercises
Test your understanding of condolence expressions with these practice exercises.
-
Question: You are writing a condolence note to a colleague whose parent has passed away. Which of the following is the most appropriate formal expression?
Options:
- “Tough luck, buddy.”
- “Please accept my deepest condolences on the loss of your parent.”
- “I know how you feel.”
Answer: b
-
Question: Your close friend has lost their sibling. Which of the following is the most appropriate informal expression?
Options:
- “I’m so sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for you.”
- “I extend my deepest sympathy to you and your family.”
- “I was deeply saddened to learn of the passing of your sibling.”
Answer: a
-
Question: You want to offer practical support to a neighbor who has lost their spouse. Which of the following is the most appropriate expression?
Options:
- “I’m sure they’re in a better place.”
- “Let me know if you need help with meals, errands, or anything else.”
- “You’ll get over it.”
Answer: b
-
Question: You want to share a positive memory of a deceased friend with their family. Which of the following is the most appropriate expression?
Options:
- “I will always remember [deceased’s name] for their infectious laughter and kind heart.”
- “It’s just a part of life.”
- “I can’t pretend to know exactly what you’re feeling.”
Answer: a
-
Question: You want to offer understanding and empathy to a friend who is grieving. Which of the following is the most appropriate expression?
Options:
- “I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you.”
- “At least they lived a long life.”
- “Try to stay positive.”
Answer: a
-
Question: When is it appropriate to use religious expressions of condolence?
Options:
- Always, as they are universally comforting.
- Only when you know the bereaved shares your religious beliefs.
- Never, as they are too personal.
Answer: b
-
Question: Which of the following should you avoid when offering condolences?
Options:
- Offering practical support.
- Sharing positive memories.
- Minimizing the bereaved’s pain.
Answer: c
-
Question: What is the most important quality of a condolence expression?
Options:
- Formality.
- Sincerity.
- Length.
Answer: b
-
Question: Someone tells you they lost their mother. Which of the following is the most appropriate response?
Options:
- “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. I lost my mother last year, so I know how you feel.”
- “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. Please accept my deepest condolences for your loss.”
- “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. At least she lived a long life, right?”
Answer: b
-
Question: A work colleague lost their spouse. You didn’t know them well. Which of the following is the most appropriate response?
Options:
- “I’m so sorry for your loss. Let me know if you need anything.”
- “At least they’re in a better place now.”
- “I know exactly how you feel. My goldfish died last week.”
Answer: a
Advanced Topics in Expressing Sympathy
Beyond basic expressions, there are more nuanced aspects to consider when offering condolences. These advanced topics can help you provide even more meaningful support.
- Addressing Different Types of Loss: The appropriate way to offer condolences may vary depending on the type of loss (e.g., death of a child, sudden death, prolonged illness). Tailor your message to the specific circumstances.
- Supporting Children and Teenagers: Children and teenagers may grieve differently than adults and require age-appropriate expressions of sympathy.
- Cultural Sensitivity: Different cultures have different customs and traditions surrounding death and mourning. Be aware of these differences and adjust your approach accordingly.
- Supporting Those with Complicated Grief: Some individuals may experience complicated grief, which involves prolonged and intense mourning. Offer ongoing support and encourage them to seek professional help if needed.
- Offering Condolences from a Distance: When you cannot offer condolences in person, consider sending a heartfelt card, letter, or care package.
- The Importance of Active Listening: Active listening is crucial when offering condolences. Pay attention to the bereaved’s words, body language, and emotions, and respond with empathy and understanding.
- Self-Care for the Condoler: Offering condolences can be emotionally draining. Remember to take care of yourself and seek support if needed.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it okay to say “I’m sorry for your loss” repeatedly?
While “I’m sorry for your loss” is a common and acceptable expression, it can sound repetitive if used excessively. Try to vary your language by using alternative phrases and focusing on offering specific support or sharing positive memories.
What if I didn’t know the deceased well?
Even if you didn’t know the deceased well, it’s still appropriate to offer condolences to the bereaved. A simple expression of sympathy, such as “I’m so sorry to hear about your loss.
My thoughts are with you,” can be meaningful.
How soon after the death should I offer condolences?
It’s best to offer condolences as soon as possible after learning of the loss. However, it’s never too late to offer support.
Even if some time has passed, a heartfelt message of sympathy can still be appreciated.
Is it okay to ask about the cause of death?
In general, it’s best to avoid asking about the cause of death unless the bereaved offers the information. Focusing on the details of the death can be insensitive and may cause further distress.
What if I don’t know what to say?
It’s okay to admit that you don’t know what to say. A simple acknowledgment of the loss and an offer of support can be enough.
For example, you could say, “I don’t know what to say, but I’m here for you.”
How can I support someone who is grieving long-term?
Long-term support is crucial for those who are grieving. Continue to check in on the bereaved, offer practical assistance, and encourage them to seek professional help if needed.
Be patient and understanding, as grief can be a long and unpredictable process.
What should I do if I say the wrong thing?
If you realize you’ve said something insensitive or inappropriate, apologize sincerely and try to correct your mistake. Acknowledge that you misspoke and reiterate your support for the bereaved.
Is it appropriate to offer condolences via social media?
Offering condolences via social media can be acceptable, but it depends on your relationship with the bereaved and the context of the situation. For close friends and family, a personal phone call or visit is often more appropriate.
A brief message of sympathy on social media can be a way to show support, but avoid sharing overly personal or emotional content.
How do I support someone who doesn’t want to talk about their grief?
Respect their wishes and offer your support in other ways. You can offer practical assistance, send a thoughtful card or gift, or simply be a comforting presence without pressuring them to talk.
Let them know you are there for them whenever they are ready.
What if I am also grieving the loss?
It’s important to acknowledge your own grief while still offering support to the bereaved. You can express your sympathy while also sharing your own feelings of loss, but be mindful of keeping the focus primarily on the bereaved and their needs.
Consider seeking support for yourself as well.
Conclusion
Expressing sympathy is a fundamental aspect of human connection, and mastering alternative ways to offer condolences can significantly enhance your ability to provide comfort and support during times of loss. By understanding the nuances of formal and informal expressions, focusing on support, remembrance, and understanding, and avoiding common mistakes, you can offer condolences that are both genuine and meaningful.
Remember that sincerity, respect, and cultural sensitivity are key to effective communication during times of grief. Tailor your message to the specific situation and your relationship with the bereaved, and always prioritize their needs and feelings.
By practicing these skills and continually learning, you can become a source of strength and solace for those who are grieving, helping them navigate their journey through loss with compassion and empathy. Offering heartfelt condolences is a profound way to show you care and make a positive impact on someone’s life during a difficult time.